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Ngerorod
This is marriage by elopement, in which the prearranged honeymoon precedes the wedding ceremony. Since it's otherwise quite expensive to marry on Bali, ngerorod is becoming more and more popular. It has particular appeal to the Balinese sense of theater. Balinese love a spectacular kidnapping in which friends of the suitor capture a woman in the fields, on the road, or down by the river. Theatrics are paramount: she is expected to bite and kick her abductors in mock self-defense. These days it's more stylish and fashionable for the woman to be whisked away in a hired sedan, and more often than not she goes willingly. The couple then repairs to a friend's house stocked with provisions, offerings, and the bride's wardrobe. The woman's infuriated father sounds the alarm demanding to know what has become of his daughter. A search party is organized which eventually returns unsuccessful and exhausted. Meanwhile, the couple is consummating the marriage before special offerings (sesayut tabuh rah) have the time to wilt. These offerings alone make the marriage binding by customary law. Emissaries of the groom visit the bride's father to argue the advantages of the union. Begrudgingly, the girl's father gives in, after a suitable bride price has been agreed upon. The groom's father must finance and conduct the marriage ceremony, welcoming the bride as a new daughter into the family. The actual public wedding, within 42 days of the staged kidnapping, is only an official confirmation of their union. They are already married in the eyes of the gods. |
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