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Mapadik
THIS is marriage by consent, in which an upper-class couple conducts a formal courtship. Since daughters were once regarded as property useful for attaining a family's social and political goals, high-caste families tried to wed a son to the daughter of a friend or relative so a blood bond would unite the resources of both families. Traditionally, the man or his father journeys three times to the bride's house with food and sirih. When the bride's family visits, the groom's father is obliged to give them food, sirih is chewed (an ancient, ritualistic means of coming to agreement), and presents are exchanged. The groom then regularly visits the home of his prospective bride, presenting gifts and performing services for his future father-in-law. The groom's family arranges and pays for the wedding; the date set well in advance on a propitious day. Wedding guests are often entertained by professional storytellers and musicians. Enormously detailed rules govern dining and seating arrangements. Sometimes the bride's family is not even invited. The actual ceremony varies. It could be very simple and short, presided over by a common temple pemangku, or it may be elaborate, expensive, and go on all day. Both the bride and groom dress in bright songket, with brocades of gold thread, and the woman's hair is decorated with glittering gold flowers. Usually the bride and groom offer food to one another, then simulate such domestic duties such as washing, cooking rice, and cutting bamboo. Prayers are intoned, and then the couple eats together in public, feeding each other. This is an important symbolic act, as in former times only married men and women were allowed to eat food together in public. The priest then performs a ritual purification and blesses the couple. Neither rice nor flowers are thrown. Today there could very well be a Western-style buffet reception held afterward where speeches are offered by members of the two families. |
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